How to Set Professional Boundaries
Q: A recent college grad wants to know: “I am working in my first professional job. How can I deal with a boss who clearly expects me to be a workaholic, just like her?”
A: Hopes were high when you accepted your new job. During the interviewing process, it may not have been possible for you to anticipate the “workaholic” behavioral expectations of your boss. Had you known about these expectations in advance, you likely would not have accepted the position. Nonetheless, you’re in the job now so it’s up to you to manage the situation.
For best results, you should approach this problem with respectful, sincere, and open communication. Addressing this conundrum with your boss will be uncomfortable, so be sure to think through what you plan to say in advance. Above all, remain calm, no matter what.
Here’s what you can do:
Tell your boss that you have a few concerns on your mind and ask for an in-person conversation.
Be sure to frame your issues in positive terms, as stating them in negative terms will immediately put your boss on the defensive.
Plan your agenda and mention (in advance, via email) that you have 4 specific topics to discuss:
1. Email response time
2. Lunchtime
3. Job duties
4. Quitting time
Telling your boss what you plan to talk about in advance can potentially help to make this tough conversation go more smoothly.
At the face-to-face (yes, it has to be face-to-face) meeting, make some polite chit chat to break the ice, then respectfully proceed with your agenda by saying, “I’d like to take a few minutes now to let you know what’s been on my mind.” (Taking this approach is non-accusatory, and chances are, your boss will listen to you attentively.)
1. Email response time
Don’t say: “It’s not fair for you to expect me to answer your emails upon receipt on weekends and holidays.”
Do say: “I want to make you aware that I plan to answer all work-related weekend and holiday emails first thing on Monday mornings.”
2. Lunchtime
Don’t say: “I resent that you expect me to eat lunch at my desk every day, just in case you might happen to “need something.”
Do say: “I’ll be stepping away from my desk during lunchtimes to stretch my legs and recharge my batteries. Then, for the second half of the workday, I’ll be able to do a great job for you.”
3. Job duties
Don’t say: “You know, picking up your dry cleaning and hiring the clown for your son’s birthday party isn’t my job.”
Do say: “Let’s take a look together at the job description I received from HR when I was hired to make sure we are clear about my job responsibilities.”
4. Quitting time
Don’t say: “Give your “stink eye” a break. I’m not getting paid to stay at work past 5pm every night.”
Do say: “Our regular office hours are from 9am to 5pm, Monday through Friday. I am happy to stay late on rare occasions to help our team meet important deadlines. My plans call for arriving to work a few minutes early and leaving on time each day.”
In the end, the best you can do is communicate your points of view in a positive and professional manner. Following your conversation, if your boss continues with unfair expectations that just don’t work for you, then you have two options: you can live with the stress or, you can start looking for a new job.
Lynn Hoban works with mid-size companies to scale business operations and ignite marketing programs for growth. Lynn has a proven track record in consumer marketing. Her programs are effective because they are built on a depth of experience in human being management as well as in operations, R&D, staffing, training, and procurement. Lynn is known for her direct leadership style, which cuts through chaos and gets results. To ask a question or to find out more, visit www.LynnHobanMarketing.com.