How to Deal with Difficult People
SCENE I:
You’ve been in your new job for a few weeks now and your path has crossed with a few “challenging” personalities including:
The Company Bully, who perceives you as a threat and who has made it his/her primary business to find fault with you, making sure to point out your shortcomings, real or imagined, to anyone who will listen.
The High Maintenance Individual, who demands way too much of your time and wants you to do everything for them, even though that’s not your job.
The Second Guesser, who asks limitless questions, questions and more questions and always has a “better” solution than the one you’re proposing.
You want to do a good job for your company and understand that these “challenging” individuals are not going away any time soon. The big question is how can you deal with these people in a productive manner, so they don’t get in the way of your success on the job?
Along the way, we’ve all experienced conflict in the workplace and much has already been written on the subject. Unfortunately, some of the advice that has been previously dispensed is impractical and just doesn’t work. Today, I’d like to share some effective methods you can use to manage the “challenging” personalities you may encounter in your workplace and in life.
This article assumes that you have already taken the first and most important step when it comes to dealing with difficult people, which is to take a look in the mirror to make sure your behavior is not instigating the problem. Have you been kind, courteous and respectful when interacting with the problematic people in question? If the answer is yes, then let’s move on to some actionable steps you can take in order to neutralize these bad actors.
One: Don’t take the “treatment” you are receiving personally.
Difficult people have been practicing their bad behaviors long before meeting up with you.
Two: Don’t react when provoked.
Difficult people experience great pleasure when they succeeded in eliciting negative reactions.
Three: Don’t fight fire with fire.
Difficult people have an unending supply of energy when it comes to engaging in conflict.
Four: Do take a moment to examine where the difficult person is coming from and what might be causing their negative behavior.
Five: Do seek the advice of a mentor, who can help you to think through the issues rationally so you can develop strategies to address the situation.
Six: Do realize that no conflict goes on forever and that “this too shall pass.”
The truth is difficult people exist everywhere and there is no escaping them. Most of us either don’t know how to deal with difficult people or, we just don’t want to, so their bad behavior goes unchecked. When a difficult person does you a dirty, do your best to always take the high road and limit your exposure to them when at all possible. Make the difficult person wait before you respond and never let them see that they’ve gotten to you.
Most importantly, be sure to remember the times when you may have been someone’s “difficult person” and make a commitment now to never be “that guy” again.
Lynn Hoban is the principal and founder of Lynn Hoban Marketing. She helps leaders of emerging restaurant and retail concepts scale their marketing programs so they can grow. If you would like to improve your workplace relationships and get better business results for your company, contact Lynn Hoban at Lynn@LynnHobanMarketing.com to find out more.